Identity and Life Story Work in Adoption
Understanding and supporting identity is a core part of helping adopted children thrive. Many children join adoptive families having experienced early childhood trauma, loss, instability, or separation, which can leave them with questions about who they are and where they belong. Life story work helps children explore their personal history in a safe, age-appropriate way, creating a coherent narrative that connects their past to their present and future.
life story work is best achieved by parents in partnership with professionals, this involves creating a personalised record of a child’s life, including early experiences, family connections, and key milestones. This can take many forms, such as books, digital journals, photos, letters, or memory boxes. The aim is to help children answer questions about where they come from, understand why they were adopted, and see their story as a journey that has led to their current safe and loving home and helps establish and support a clear sense of self. Often there are gaps in the information we have about children’s histories, and it is important to acknowledge this with children, and how difficult this feels.
Good identity work also honours each child’s cultural, ethnic, and racial background. For children adopted into families with a different heritage from their own, understanding and celebrating this part of their identity is especially important. The Anti‑racist Framework for Decision-Making in Transracial Adoption (AFDiT) helps social workers and adoptive families think holistically about identity, race, culture, and heritage in the adoption process, before, during, and after placement. AFDiT encourages intentional preparation, culturally responsive support, and ongoing reflection so that children’s identities are understood, respected, and protected within their families.
Embracing a child’s heritage and story, and integrating this into daily life, helps strengthen belonging and self-esteem. When adoptive parents respond with empathy, openness, and cultural curiosity, children are more likely to grow into confident young people who feel seen, valued, and proud of all the parts of their identity.
Key Elements to Include:
- Providing honest, age-appropriate life story work that the child helps create.
- Celebrating cultural and racial heritage in everyday life—language, traditions, food, stories, and experiences.
- Using tools like AFDiT to support understanding, reflection, and planning around identity needs.
- Encouraging open conversations about identity, difference, and belonging as the child grows.
- Involve the child actively in creating life story materials to give them ownership over their story.
“Adoption has come to represent the best of what we do in establishing a family for life for a child who may not otherwise have had one. And in some respects, it represents the worst of what we do in severing a child from their family of origin…. Adoption creates both a fundamental sense of hope for the future, but can also create a profound sense of uncertainty, loss, and grief.” —Dr John Simmonds OBE, Director of Policy, Research and Development, Coram BAAF, United Kingdom
Integrating Life Story Work with Therapeutic Parenting
Therapeutic parenting and life story work go hand in hand in supporting a child’s emotional development and sense of identity. While therapeutic parenting focuses on providing safety, empathy, and understanding in everyday interactions, life story work helps children make sense of their past and how it shapes who they are today. Together, they allow children to feel both emotionally secure and understood in the context of their personal history.
Adoptive parents can use therapeutic parenting principles (link to Therapeutic Parenting page) when exploring life stories with their children. For example, responding with curiosity and empathy when a child asks about their early experiences helps them feel safe to share, while acceptance ensures they know their feelings are valid. Creating life story materials collaboratively can also strengthen attachment, giving children a sense of agency over their narrative while reinforcing the trust, connection, and emotional safety central to therapeutic parenting.
This integrated approach helps children develop a coherent identity, increases emotional resilience, and supports long-term well-being by allowing them to understand their past without being overwhelmed by it.
Supporting Identity and Life Story Work
Some children come with very complex and challenging life experiences, and it can be difficult to find the right way to help them understand and make sense of their story as they grow. Our Adoption Support Helpdesk is here to listen to your concerns and offer guidance, helping you navigate these sensitive conversations.
We also run Life Story Work (LSW) workshops, designed to equip adopters with practical tools and strategies to support children in exploring their past, understanding their identity, and building a positive sense of self. Reaching out early ensures you have the support you need at every stage of your child’s journey.
Further Information
- Adoption UK – Life Story Work
Practical guidance on how to build life story books and support children’s understanding of their history.
https://www.adoptionuk.org/life-story-work - Family Rights Group – Life Story Work Toolkit
A useful overview of why life story work matters and ideas for how families and professionals can approach it sensitively.
https://www.frg.org.uk/information/adoption/family-work - The Fostering Network – Life Story Work Resources
Practical tools and ideas for using creative and supportive approaches to life story work with children.
https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/advice‑information/children%E2%80%99s‑care/life‑story‑work
Trauma, Identity & Attachment
- Dan Hughes – Theraplay and DDP Resources
Dan Hughes’s work on attachment and therapeutic practice supports identity formation through stable, reflective caregiving.
https://www.childtherapyservice.org.uk/attachment/ddp - Attachment & Trauma Network (US)
Offers articles, webinars, and support around identity, attachment, and trauma‑informed caregiving.
https://www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org
Cultural Identity & Transracial Adoption
- Adoption England – AFDiT (Anti‑racist Framework for Decision‑making in Transracial Adoption)
The official site explaining the AFDiT framework, why it matters, and how it supports transracial adopters and children.
https://www.adoptionengland.co.uk/afdit‑transracial‑adoption‑framework - CoramBAAF – Transracial Adoption Resources
Guidance and practice materials on supporting cultural identity, diversity, and heritage in adoption.
https://www.corambaaf.org.uk/adoption‑support/resources/transracial‑adoption - The Centre for Race and Culture (UK)
Resources and training on racial identity development, cultural competence, and anti‑racist practice relevant to adoptive families.
http://centre‑race.org.uk
Books (Highly Recommended)
- “The Connected Child” by Karyn Purvis, David Cross & Wendy Sunshine
A widely‑used book on understanding trauma and parenting with connection and empathy. - “Lost and Found: Supporting Children Through Life Story Work” by Maggie Aldridge & Susie Andrews
A practical guide to carrying out meaningful life story work for children in care and adoption. - “Transracial Adoption: Children Make it Work, Parents Try Harder” by DE Hill
Explores identity, race, and experience in transracial adoption — helpful for parents and practitioners.
