What is it like – adopting as an LGBT+ couple?

Why adoption?

As a couple and individuals, we have always wanted to adopt, it was always on our agenda.  We are a lesbian couple, and both considered carrying a child, but the more we investigated adoption, the more we realised we just wanted to be mummies, and it didn’t matter how it happened. Our boy came home five months ago, at the age of two and a half years.

Can you tell us a little bit about the journey your children have been on?

Our boy’s journey has not been the easiest. He was taken into foster care just before his first birthday but remained with the same foster carer for eighteen months, until he came home to us.  He has an older birth brother who took on a huge amount of his care when they were living with birth family, his brother has always been a huge part of his life and showed him lots of affection, they continue to have direct contact three times a year.

Our boy was slightly delayed in walking and did not speak at all when he came home. We believe a big factor of this was that he may not of being getting the attention he needed to develop appropriately. He has come on leaps and bounds since being with us; he now has a good range of words he can say, and his behaviours are improving all the time.

How did you find the assessment process?

We absolutely loved the whole process. It wasn’t easy, in the slightest! But it was a great time to reflect on our past, appreciate our upbringings, and really think about how we would parent, The courses were long, and some of the information is quite hard to let sink in, but we think the fact the hosts of the courses had adopted themselves was brilliant, as they gave examples of their child’s behaviours and told their story, which was invaluable. The more the process went on, the more we knew it was the right thing for us and prepared us for the worst! And once the courses finished, we actually missed them!

Any words of advice to people that might be considering adoption?

Our advice for people thinking of adoption, is at least make that enquiry! Once we had an initial phone call and talked through the process a little with a duty worker, we knew straight away we wanted to find out more. We love our little boy more than words could say, and he is the best thing to happen to us both. We love him as if we had given birth to him ourselves. It is the hardest thing we have ever done, but the most rewarding and exciting thing that we have ever done! I couldn’t recommend adoption enough, and it is most definitely a route we plan on going down again.

*Names and some details have been changed to protect the identities of the people in this story, all other details are factually correct at the time of writing.