Can you tell us a little bit about your family?
We have been married since 1999, around 2002 we planned to have a baby. In 2011 after around 7-8 f failed IVF treatments from 4 different clinics including egg donation in Marbella Spain (and 2 ambulance trips for my wife) we decided to embark on the adoption process. We started the process later that year and our daughter came to us in May 2013. She was 19 months when she arrived, and she is now eight years old. We are not aware that she has any siblings and like to think if asked that we would put ourselves forward to adopt if that was the case, but we have not tried to adopt any other children
Can you tell us a little bit about the journey you and your daughter have been on?
Our daughter has been an absolute delight. She is adored by people who meet her in our village and has a good school life. She is quite small for her age but swims well and has a great stage presence. We have a dog at home who is very much part of the family and she loves him just as much as my wife and I do. She has four cousins (all in their teens and young adulthood) who all have a great relationship with her. She even looks like my wife!! The first few week/ months of her life were life threatening. It is a miracle for her to come have this far.
How did you find the assessment process?
We found the adoption process a great experience. We did not know if adoption was for us but once on the route simply continued with it. The rest is history and we were lucky to get matched on the day we were approved by the panel.
Any words of advice to people that might be considering adoption
I have loads of advice/things to say I could give but let me limit it to three things!
- My mother once said to me “you two have done a wonderful thing”- and we know we have. In partnership with the Council We have rescued a toddler from a precarious situation and given her a start in life she could otherwise not have expected.
- I sometimes think “what if?” What if any one of our IVF treatments had been successful. Yes, we would have had our own biological child, but we would not have had our daughter that we have now. It’s a paradox but sometimes life is like that. For us a chapter ended and a whole new life began!
- An ex-colleague of mine who sat next to me every day for a couple of years embarked on the adoption route when I worked with her. At times she found it hard and I’d like to think my encouragement helped he through. She had doubts that we never had, but she and her husband got through it and they now have a baby girl and are delighted.
- Names and some details have been changed to protect the identities of the people in this story, all other details are factually correct at the time of writing.