As this is the first of our blog posts, it seems fitting to start with the first day for two of our Early Permanence carers. We begin with Harry and Bridget, who are waiting to hear the latest decision on the plan for the little boy they are hoping will come home with them.
*Names and some details have been changed to protect the identities of the people in this story, the rest is real, written by real adopters about their real life experience of adoption.
The day had arrived….
What would the judge say? The Friday before, the judge could not make a decision as he needed further time to read through documentation and then he was on holiday for a week…..the anxiety was immense but life had to go on as normal……what would be would be, so off to work we both went. For me (Bridget) it was the strangest feeling as it was possible this could be my last day at work for 12 months, I had the following week off as holiday which was a bonus so in a way it was like I was clearing the decks for holiday…..
Due to the uncertainty of early permanence I had decided not to share things with all my work colleagues as being in a large office, I didn’t want to be the subject of conversation, so in I went, the only people that knew were my line manager and my very close friend, so to everyone else I was just getting ready for my holiday…..
The court hearing was around 10am so I knew I had some time to wait as I start work early…my heart was racing my friend came in and looked at me with a little grin as if to say this is it……. Time seemed to stand still, I kept checking my phone but nothing, maybe it wasn’t working but no it was; still no call. I tried to keep myself busy by getting everything ready for my holiday, but my head really wasn’t in it.
It got to nearly lunchtime and still no call, that’s it I thought he is not coming what shall we do tonight, what shall we have for tea…..then my Moblie rang……I looked and yes it was the social worker…..now you can probably imagine what I am thinking at this point but I don’t think it is appropriate to write it down! This is it! I walked calmly (well ish) out of the open plan office to a quieter place (the back stair well) and nervously said ‘Hello’…..I was then asked……’ you at work’ …’ ummh yes’ …‘welll you need to leave, he is coming to you’……..’ hey pardon? Did you just say…..’ …’Yes I did…we will be with you this afternoon’
OMG or words to that effect (as you can probably imagine) this is it. I rang my husband who said ‘is it not happening then as we haven’t heard?’…’ No I said we are on, he is coming you need to finish work’ the line went a little quiet…..‘ok see you at home’.
I then had to ring my mum and my auntie, my auntie was especially important as we were borrowing a lot of baby things from her grandchildren such as cot etc. so I needed her to get to my house.
I walked back to my desk and started packing up my things, my friend knew what was going on as she could tell from my face….I sent a message to my line manager to say this is it I’m off…I was in shock, was this really happening. A colleague said to me ‘you finishing early for your holiday’ I replied ‘yes got everything sorted so no point hanging around and got the holiday’, little did she know there was a possibility she wouldn’t see me for a year! Not just a week.